we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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