there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
