You just made me feel so damn special
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
