She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
