her vagine was all disorganized.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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