It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
