Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
