Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
