Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
