ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
