What did we do last night that was yellow?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
