she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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