What did we do last night that was yellow?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
