the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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