I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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