you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
