i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
