Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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