I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
