Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
