Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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