Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
