There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
