Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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