hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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