Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
