The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
