why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
