TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
