she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
