We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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