Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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