party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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