u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
