this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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