During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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