god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's rum buckets o'clock
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
