So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
