if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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