She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
