How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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