I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I want her autograph on my taint
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
