and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Randomize
