dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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