the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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