So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
