Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
