Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
