you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize