I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
