Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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