i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
