my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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