too bad you live with your parents still
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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