So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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