I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
