I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
