guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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