Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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