I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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