also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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