Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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