If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
