Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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