You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
