By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
