DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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