Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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