it was like his penis was on wheels.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
