Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
